Tips and Talk – December 2007

It’s that time of year again; first there’s ………
           Happy Christmas !

Then there is ‘The New Year Resolution’, which may start off with a buzz of energy, but often ends up feeling like an albatross slung over our drooping shoulders. I have just been reading Michael Neill’s latest offering (If you haven’t read his excellent, ‘You Can Have What You Want’, give yourself a treat) and decided to pass on some of his ideas over the next couple of ‘Tips and Talk’ - they are so pertinent.

“ I want to take advantage of our natural urge to reinvent ourselves at this time of year to share some of my thoughts about how you can do that most effectively. This will not only ensure that 2008 will be better than 2007, but that it will lay the foundation for many wonderful years to come.

And the place to begin, as is so often the case, is with the end in mind - by exploring all the obvious and not so obvious dreams and desires that fuel both our occasional discontent with
where we are and our hopes and expectations of the future.

The following questions are based on the recognition that we all have a multitude of thoughts and desires fighting for recognition inside ourselves, and that the first step in choosing which ones you want to engage yourself with is to get them out of your head and onto paper.  They can encompass every area of your life – from your health to your wealth, your home to your office, yourself and your spirit.

As you go through this exercise, I want you to begin a list of POSSIBLE goals for yourself.  These do not have to be accomplishable in a year, or even within your lifetime.  Do not consider whether they're realistic or specific or fit any of the other "goal rules" you've been taught.

[You will get some simple ways to refine your final choices in future ‘Tips ..’ . For now, just make a list of as many things as you can think of in each section and then when you're ready, move on to the next]:


1.      "Should" Goals

We all have things we think we "should" do in order to make the most of the opportunities we are being presented with...

*What goals "should" you pursue in the next year?

*What goals would make you "a better person" if you accomplished them?


2.      Logical "Next Step" Goals

Often, the goals we pursue are simply natural progressions from the ones we have been pursuing in the past...

*What do you feel are the sensible, reasonable, responsible objectives for you to go after next?

*Since you did what you did in the past year, naturally, you will _____  in the coming year.


3.      "Deja Vu" Goals

What are the goals you swore you'd reach last year... and the year before that... and the year before that?

Finish these sentence starters:

*By now, you'd think I would have...

*This year, I'm finally going to...

*If I don't ______ this year, I'm never going to do it!


4.      "Somebody Else's" Goals

In this section, make a list all the goals you carry around that were handed to you by someone else.  This is not to say you don't share others' aspirations for you.  It's simply valuable to note the role that other people's intentions have in shaping our own...

Fill in the blanks below to get you started:

*My father/mother was already ______ when (s)he was my age.

*My father/mother always wanted to _________.

*Everyone has always expected me to _______.

*My partner/spouse/friends really wish I would ________.


In these next few categories, I'd like you to move away from the goals the mind tends to set and drop down into your heart.  As you go through these categories, do your best to drop all preconceived notions of what you could, should, or would have and reflect quite simply on what you actually want, whether or not you think you can have it:

5.      "Deep" Wants

*What do you want more than anything else in the whole wide world?

*What do you daydream about, even if you've never admitted it out loud before?

*What would be even better than that?


6.      "Fairy Godmother" Wants

If your fairy godmother showed up, wand at the ready to grant you any wish you desire, what would you ask her to wave her magic wand for?

*What would you want if you could have absolutely anything drop into your lap out of the clear blue sky, without your having to do anything at all to attain, keep, or maintain it?

*What else would you want?

*What else?


7.      "Happy" Wants:

Sometimes, we don't let ourselves dream big because we fear how disappointed we'll be if we fail (again!) to make our dreams come true:

*What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about NOT getting it?

*If your happiness was not dependent on your getting what you want, what would you want?

*If you were ALREADY happy, what would you still want to do, be, or have?


8.      "Naughty" Wants:

Were you ever told as a child that it was wrong to want things, or at least to want what you wanted?

*What would you want if you believed that your having it would not hurt anyone else, make you a bad person, or betray anyone you cared about?

*If you didn't think, "I shouldn't want that," what would you want?

*What would you want if nobody was watching?

*What would you want if nobody cared?


9.      "If Only" Goals

Your life is what it is - but what if it wasn't?  Would you want different things than you find yourself wanting now?

*What wants of yours are followed immediately with:

"...but I can't _____"

"...but I could never ______"

"...except I don't have ______"

*If you removed the "if only", what would you want?

*What would you want if only things were different?
*What would you want if you knew that you really could handle having it?

10."Wow!" Wants

What could happen in the next day/week/month/year that would make you go "Wow"?

*What would you love to have more of in your life?

*What would you love to do?

*Where would you love to go?

*What would you love to be?

What are your "big grin goals" - goals that bring a big grin to your face when you think about them and will bring an even bigger grin to your face when you actually get them?


Take your time going through these questions - you can print them off and carry them with you throughout the week, jotting down additional answers as they occur to you.  Next time, we'll
take next step and refine your list against what I call "the three unbreakable rules of goal getting"...”
                                                                                               Michael Neill

News of Courses

• Emotional Clarity – Johnny’s course was a huge success and places for the Emotional Clarity are filling up. The course is accredited by the British Institute of Hypnotherapy and if you would like further details phone Johnny on 01428 653881

• NLP Diploma – places are also filling up for our Spring 2008 course – the price is proving attractive!
• Feb 2 (Sat)   10 (Sun)    Mar 2 (Sun)   9 (Sun) 
  The cost will remain at £200

• 2008 NLP Practitioner – starts in February; full details and dates are under courses

• EFT Level 1, 2 and 3 Gary Craig and AAMET approved

  

These courses will be starting early 2008. I know many of you have expressed
interest in EFT. If you have NLP experience, this course will show you how to
incorporate that experience into your EFT; if not then you will also learn NLP
core skills that will enhance your delivery of EFT.

                   Have fun!

        Jenny and John