We have now been ‘beside the seaside’ for five months and life and Inner Sense are both settling into the new environment.
We have a new training venue, Hamblin Hall that, for those of you who have trained with us and remember Southdown, carries on that ‘feel good factor’. The Hall is set in the grounds of Bosham House, is ‘built of British home grown timber and has a friendly and intimate feel’. Bosham House is the home of the Hamblin Trust, which is a registered charity dedicated to enriching people’s lives through positive thinking. When we read the following quote from Henry Thomas Hamblin, the trust’s founder,
‘ Change your thinking, change your life.’
we knew that we had made a lucky find, and the friendly and supportive approach of the staff ‘walks the talk’. If you are interested in finding out more about the work of the trust, you can find them on their website:
www.thehamblintrust.org.uk
Now that we have a new training home, we have reinstated the ‘get together days’ that proved so popular and are holding our first, headlined NLP for Health and Well-being’, on August 26. Ideas for future days include:
- ‘Effective Crowd Control’ – managing and enjoying working with groups
- Crank up your Creativity
- Presuppositions – preaching or practice?
NLP Tales
There is now a wealth of books and articles, written by major figures involved in NLP. All further knowledge and many lead to the generation of new ideas and useful applications. It is also useful and often inspirational to hear how people utilise NLP in their daily lives.
The ‘NLP Tales’ will, I hope, be a regular feature of ‘Tips and Talk’. The intention is to share individual experiences of applying NLP in everyday working and personal life.
My thanks to Duncan Fish for the following extract:
March 2006 – Patience in the Middle East
Since September 2005 the organisation that I work for, has been working in partnership with a UAE telecommunications business based in Dubai. Prior to March I had been out to run two training courses with a 90% Arab delegate population.
Culturally, this was a very different working environment for me. Imagine the sight of a whole room of men wearing white robes from head to toe and women wearing black robes. The temperature outside was between 35 and 44 degrees centigrade with constant blue sky, meaning that spending too much time outside in a suit made you feel quite warm! Three times a day the sounds of prayers would be broadcast on speakers outside. First one would start and before long the sound would come from all directions as the mosques each broadcast their own version of the prayer.
My memories of the first two trainings revolved around the difficulties I had working with the Arab delegates. For a start they like to have a shorter training day, starting at 8am and finishing at 2.30pm, with 1 hour for lunch between 1pm and 2pm. Practically, this meant that the afternoon session was redundant for anything other than topping and tailing the morning session. Having shorter lunches is frowned upon as the delegates are predominantly Muslim and go for prayer. In addition, there is a big difference between the Arab men and the Arab women. The Arab men (particularly the younger ones) tend to work to their own time schedule, turning up and leaving when they like. This is particularly challenging, as there are normally a number of practical sessions that require delegates to follow a timetable and take on various roles. On numerous occasions the Arab men would just disappear once you were about to begin the practical session, which meant re-timetabling the whole session. Another behaviour that I found challenging was the constant use of mobile phones whilst I was training them. The women were a ‘different kettle of fish’ altogether. Typically, they worked very hard, turned up on time and asked lots of challenging questions during the course, aimed at furthering their understanding.
In March I went out to deliver the third course, however, this was after my first NLP course. I decided that I would use my new knowledge of presuppositions and see what effect it had. I chose the presupposition, “the intention of all behaviour is positive”, as I my outcome was to see the world through the delegates’ eyes. Indeed, I really did feel a difference in the way that I interacted with the group and I noticed myself being more relaxed and being far more flexible in my approach. This represented itself by me staying calm and positive towards latecomers (up to 1.5 hours in some cases) and flexing the course content and timetable to fit the needs of the group.
As it happened, many of the delegates on this course were the same as I had taught on the previous sessions. One of the delegates was the resident psychologist at the client company. Half way through the course she came up to me and commented on “how differently” I was running the course this time. I asked her what she meant by that and she replied that I seemed far more ‘laid back’ and flexible and that the delegates seemed to be enjoying the course far more. I informed her that I had started an NLP course and was practicing my presuppositions. She immediately said, “I knew there was something going on, I noticed the difference right away”. I also received feedback from one of the young Arab males that I had been “very understanding” of his needs. This was particularly of interest for me as on a previous course his “tardiness” had caused me much frustration where as this time I choose not to make it an issue. This reference experience was a clear example to me that even after one weekend of NLP training I had started to act in a more “useful” way.
Tip of the Month
It’s school holiday time again and, walking round the village, I am reminded of a telephone conversation with a friend shortly before we moved:
“So where exactly is it that you’re going?”
“Rustington.”
….. Long and pregnant pause
“But you’re not old enough to be going to Rustington!”
He should be here now, there must be three children for every senior citizen …. it’s interesting how we experience what we have already decided will be there, isn’t it? On trainings we often use the example of what happens when we decide to buy a new car and then suddenly notice hundreds of them (previously disregarded) on the road, to illustrate the workings of the recticular activation system in the brain. I wonder what we also consequently fail to notice?
Back to the children seen in the village ….. it is of course the long summer holiday, which is why the streets (and beach) seem suddenly full of children. This opportunity to spend uninterrupted time with your children is precious: they grow up so quickly – I can remember when the highlight of my grandson’s life was staying with nanny … now he’s holding hands with a girl! We all get less and less time to spend with the ones we love, whether children, parents, partners or close friends – the question is:
What do we make of that time?
However much we have looked forward to this precious time together, the reality does not always match our daydreams. People have a nasty habit of being real and not always coming up to our (often unrealistic) expectations. We can then spend so much of our time and attention focusing on their annoying/frustrating/infuriating behaviour, that we completely fail to notice and enjoy anything else about them.
Experiment ……
- If you have been feeling negative about one of your ‘nearest and dearest’:
- Keep a notebook and at the end of the day spend ten minutes thinking of every thing he/she has done that you felt positive about, that gives you a small, warm glow as you remember it.
- Write them down in your notebook.
- Do this every day for a week.
- At the end of the week look back over what you have written then add five things about the person that you really like and appreciate.
….. you can be amazed at the difference it makes to the quality of your time together.
Have fun!
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